Ask a (Frontier) Psychiatrist « Frontier Psychiatrist
Why are all indie rockers anorexic little boys?
-Kurt Co-bese
Dear Kurt,
The answer to all questions of the form “Why are some group of men how they are” is: Girls. As adult men, there are many ways for us to attract girls. Humor. Success. Talent. Puppies. Alas, in our formative years, the options available are not so diverse. In truth, only two types find bountiful booty during this period: those who are precocious in the field of competitive sports, and those who, as it were, play by their own rules.
Sadly, the skinny, shy boy finds himself excluded from both categories. His deficiency of girth excludes him from group one; his gentle temperament bars entry into group two. Left alone with his own thoughts, failure in the field of flirtation drives the young skinny boy to express himself in song. Typically, a song about girls:
Yep, life is hard. But there’s good new for our waifish hero: turns out, girls like guys with guitars. If a young man attacks his axe and waxes poetic, the years of brooding and salad can pay off in the attention and admiration of a lovely lady or, if you’re the guy from MGMT, lots of them. So, fear not, young shrimp puff: one day you may swagger like the Lotharios below. Rock and roll truly can save you.
Dear Frontier Psychiatrist,
What is the greatest performance by a rock star in a film?
-Mark Wahlberg
Dear Mark,
Skinny boys playing guitars in movies? Apparently, the release of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World has had a profound effect on our readers. For my money, there is and always will be only one answer to this question: David Bowie in Labyrinth. I would love to hear from our readers on this topic; please enter your thoughts in the comments box below. In the meantime, enjoy the power of the voodoo.
No comments:
Post a Comment