Friday, May 13, 2011

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.
Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:
"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."
Carlos Howert, Ana's doctor, prescribes Ana with a "cocktail" (read: an entire medicine cabinet's worth) of tranquillizers. We're not sure how that "cocktail" doesn't knock Ana out (half a Claritin feels like an elephant tranquillizer to us), but thanks to Dr. Howert's concoction, Ana only has to masturbate around eighteen-times a day.
So, like, a little less than Elvis Crespo.
Of course all of this sounds absurd and hilarious to most us but for Ana it's probably anything but. Last April she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during work hours. Ana won.
Still, imagine an office full of of scandalized and perverted stares as you exit the bathroom or bend down to pick up a pencil — awkward? Very. Also, as a woman, having a bunch of men knowing you're a clinical nympho probably doesn't help deter unwanted sexual advances.


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